“He’s not aggressive, he’s anxious” -The rise of misunderstood pets

He’s not aggressive; he’s anxious.

You’ve heard it before.
At the park. Outside a vet clinic. In your own home.

A dog growls, barks, lunges, snaps — and someone says it.
“Control your aggressive dog.”
And just like that, a label sticks.

But what if he’s not aggressive at all?
What if he’s just scared, overwhelmed, or doesn’t have the tools to cope?
Because here’s the truth: most so-called ‘aggressive’ pets are actually anxious.
And we’re only just starting to realise it.

What does that actually mean?

Let’s break this down.
Aggression is a behaviour. Anxiety is a feeling.
Your dog isn’t choosing to be “difficult” — they’re responding to a trigger they can’t handle.

It looks like:

• A dog barking non-stop at the doorbell

• Snapping when someone tries to hug them

• Growling when another dog comes too close

• Freezing during grooming

• Hiding under furniture when guests arrive

• Biting on walks — not out of anger but because everything feels like too much

These are stress responses.
And most pets aren’t trying to be “bad”. They’re just trying to feel safe.

Where did this misunderstanding come from?

It’s part culture, part conditioning.

For years, we were told dogs need to be “obedient” and “loyal”.
We saw them as creatures who exist to please us, not individuals with emotional needs.
So when they act out, we take it personally.

But just like people, animals have pasts.
Some come from breeders who didn’t prioritise early socialisation.
Some were adopted after traumatic beginnings.
Others are just wired more sensitively — and that’s not something you can punish away.

The rise of misunderstood pets is real — and it has everything to do with us finally starting to notice what’s going on underneath the surface.

How can you apply this understanding as a pet parent?

1. Look beyond the label

Instead of asking, How do I stop this behaviour?, ask, Why is my pet doing this?
That shift in mindset changes everything. It turns discipline into empathy.

2. Don’t punish the panic

A dog growling is giving you a warning. That’s communication.
Punishing it might stop the sound — but the fear remains, and next time, they might skip the warning.

3. Create predictability

Anxious pets do better when they know what to expect.
Same walk route. Same feeding time. Clear cues.
It’s not boring — it’s comforting.

4. Say no to forced socialising

If your dog gets overwhelmed around other dogs or strangers, respect that.
There’s no rule that says every dog needs to love every interaction.
They don’t owe anyone a wagging tail.

5. Invest in decompression time

Sometimes, pets need quiet time after stressful events — just like humans.
Give them a safe corner, dim the lights, and let them settle at their pace.

6. Use gear that helps them feel in control

Some pets feel safer in harnesses. Others like wearing a calming vest.
And some just need a long leash so they don’t feel cornered.
It’s not over-accessorising. It’s listening.

7. Ask for help, not opinions

If your pet is struggling, reach out to a behaviourist — not a neighbour with five dogs.
Your pet isn’t a problem to be fixed. They’re an individual to be understood.

What actually makes you a better pet parent?

Not blind obedience. Not control. Not dominance.
But your ability to listen, adapt, and see your pet for who they are — not who they “should” be.

Better pet parenting is:

• Accepting that fear can look like aggression

• Advocating for your dog even when others judge

• Learning their cues, triggers, and comfort zones

• Ditching outdated advice in favour of what actually works for your pet

• Creating safety, not submission

Some of the best pet parents we’ve met have anxious dogs.
And they’re proud of how far they’ve come — even if the progress is quiet.

A final note

If you’ve ever apologised for your dog barking before understanding why they did it — this is for you.
If you’ve been told your cat is “moody” when she’s actually just scared of loud sounds — this is for you too.

Let’s stop calling anxious pets aggressive.
Let’s stop expecting calmness in chaos.
And let’s start showing our pets the same patience we ask from them.

You don’t need to raise the “perfect” dog.
You just need to raise one who feels safe with you.